1 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,589 ...the car crash, the afterlife, and the Amish. 2 00:00:24,589 --> 00:00:27,114 I can take whatever that shadowy motherfuck dishes out 3 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,637 and throw it back twice as hard. 4 00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:29,986 I need your help. 5 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:31,292 I'm putting a team together 6 00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:32,771 to take this mystery fucker down. 7 00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,164 If I was selfish... 8 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:36,819 there is no way I'd let a hot piece of ass like you 9 00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:38,777 marry a half-sack like Chester Vince. 10 00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:42,738 But I can't sell the dealership. 11 00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,087 Numbnuts is a partner. 12 00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:46,350 So is that lanky white shadow of his, 13 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,091 and my maggot ex-wife. 14 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,788 But you are the majority partner! 15 00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:51,834 So long, suckers. 16 00:00:51,834 --> 00:00:54,097 Miami or bust. 17 00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:57,013 Beaver Moon Saloon? 18 00:00:57,013 --> 00:01:00,060 You've been sleepwalking! It's you! 19 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,365 The only thing you have to do 20 00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:02,932 to [unclear] the Beaver Moon 21 00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:05,456 is cancel the hit that you placed on yourself! 22 00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:07,023 Too late, fuckers. 23 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,202 Richard, thank God you survived! 24 00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:15,945 Once again, bourbon saved the day. 25 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:22,604 Finally, everything's comin' up Fitzy. 26 00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,736 Ring-a-ding-ding. 27 00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:34,703 [♪] 28 00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:39,055 Check that adorable shit out. 29 00:01:39,055 --> 00:01:40,752 From the moment I was born, 30 00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:42,972 it was obvious that Fitzy had what it took 31 00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:45,583 to be number one. 32 00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,759 Sex appeal. 33 00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:49,587 [flatulent noise] 34 00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:52,199 Fuckload of charisma. 35 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:55,158 Jesus, Kid. You stink. 36 00:01:55,158 --> 00:01:57,769 And always being in the right place 37 00:01:57,769 --> 00:01:58,814 at the right time. 38 00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:03,645 Mmmm... 39 00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:06,256 When God gives you this much awesome, 40 00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:09,520 you have no choice but to be king... 41 00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:32,021 T-minus awesome, Richard. 42 00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:33,457 Almost ready to cut the ribbon. 43 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:35,242 - Are the strippers here? - One plays the lute! 44 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,547 - Olives? - Stuffed. 45 00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:38,593 - Bed in the VIP lounge? - I chose not to notice. 46 00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,638 Of course you didn't, you flaccid albino. 47 00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:43,075 But I did, and everything's ready to roll. 48 00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:45,165 Let's do this. 49 00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,298 Real primo crop. 50 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:49,865 Same stuff the boys had backstage at the Sands. 51 00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,649 [siren] Nice. 52 00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:54,478 Hey! Valet's that way! 53 00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:58,917 Nice place you got here, Fitz. 54 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:01,442 It's always ladies' night at the Summerwind, Officer. 55 00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:06,011 And here's an opening night present. 56 00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:08,144 Oh, that's nice. 57 00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:11,103 ...the municipality of Coverton... 58 00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:12,844 ...environmental survey... 59 00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:14,585 ...endangered speckled titmouse... 60 00:03:16,761 --> 00:03:17,936 This is a demolition order! 61 00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:19,634 Bull shit. 62 00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,244 You're not gonna tear down my place for some fuckin' mouse. 63 00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:22,898 I think it's a bird. 64 00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:25,727 Mouse. Bird. Who cares? 65 00:03:25,727 --> 00:03:27,511 It lives here. It's endangered. 66 00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,034 And this is its protected - 67 00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:31,167 It's a fucking parking lot. 68 00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:35,084 You got enemies in high places, Fitz. 69 00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:38,087 All right! Everyone! Party's over! 70 00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:41,221 Clear out or we'll start checking parole orders! 71 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,528 Whoa! Whoa! Where are you all going? 72 00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:47,575 Come on guys. Drinks half price! 73 00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:49,490 First round only. 74 00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:50,665 No top shelf. 75 00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:55,235 A raid, and we're not even open yet. 76 00:03:57,715 --> 00:03:59,500 Fuck. 77 00:04:05,462 --> 00:04:45,502 [♪] 78 00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,468 Bulldozers rolling in. 79 00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,992 Those city fucks want to start the tear down tomorrow. 80 00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,820 Old man's in Miami, 81 00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:00,125 Meghan's rotting in the psych ward, 82 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:01,562 Mom's AWOL, 83 00:05:01,562 --> 00:05:03,346 who else would want to fuck with me? 84 00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,000 You'd think the city would rally around 85 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,523 its most wholesome citizen. 86 00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:08,786 I make you bar manager and that's the thanks I get? 87 00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,440 Yeah. A real thanks would have been a moat. 88 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:11,746 With mermaids. 89 00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:13,269 You made her manager? 90 00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:15,924 Who makes your coffee in the morning 91 00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:18,056 and cleans up the vomit from the night before? 92 00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:19,928 If anyone should be number two it's me. 93 00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:22,322 You're always number two to me, Larry. 94 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,627 That's a poop joke! 95 00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:25,368 You're not management material, Larry. 96 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:27,239 And you never will be. 97 00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,590 That is patently untrue and false 98 00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:32,027 and a big fat lie! 99 00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:33,637 Can we please focus here people! 100 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,117 My future is on the line. 101 00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,553 And my six month plan. 102 00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,555 - My pride. - My courage! 103 00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:39,948 No, that's the Cowardly Lion. What do I get to lose? 104 00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:41,123 Your ass if you don't figure out a way 105 00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:43,125 to sabotage that bulldozer stat. 106 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,518 On it. 107 00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:48,217 No way I'm going to let some stupid mouse stop me. 108 00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:49,697 Fuck city hall. 109 00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:51,960 It's about time this town had a decent place to drink. 110 00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:56,094 To the titmouse, Asshole. 111 00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,185 Fuck. 112 00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:09,630 16,100, and I will personally clean the back seat for you. 113 00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:10,979 No, I'm good. 114 00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,546 - 15,900! - Bye. 115 00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:17,768 Again, you do not make the sale? 116 00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:19,422 Again, they are asking for Fitz! 117 00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:22,686 But, the Ruptals ascended to power six months ago! 118 00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,601 You guys seen my blow torch? 119 00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,429 Thought I was using it the other day... 120 00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:27,561 Cousin, what is he doing here? 121 00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:28,953 We have fired him many, many times. 122 00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:30,520 You want me to remove him? 123 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,391 I'm your elder - 124 00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:35,307 It is my duty to allow you to learn. 125 00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:38,093 Found it! 126 00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,185 Fine. 127 00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,621 Let us decide 128 00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:47,276 in the way Cousin Rulalabab chooses suicide bombers. 129 00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:49,234 Rock, papers, pipe bomb. 130 00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,634 Perhaps we will do what he did 131 00:06:57,634 --> 00:07:00,507 before he left for flight school. 132 00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:04,206 Ignore the enemy until he goes away? 133 00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:08,253 Beautiful. 134 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:11,953 [groaning] 135 00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:15,696 ♪ Ring-a-ding-ding Answer the phone ♪ 136 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:19,874 What do you want? 137 00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,484 Hey, Jackass. 138 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:22,964 You flat on your face yet? 139 00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:24,966 Not as flat as your saggy ass. 140 00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,055 Hey - they sell waterproof Depends in Miami? 141 00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:28,970 I get more pussy and blow at 65 142 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,232 then you ever will. 143 00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:33,104 Right, that's why you're calling me. 144 00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,715 Things sound awful quiet. 145 00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:37,108 Business must be booming at that lounge of yours. 146 00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:38,545 It is... 147 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:39,894 and you can forget about ever getting a reservation, 148 00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,417 you cancerous puss nugget. 149 00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:43,201 That's the best you got? 150 00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:45,334 Hey! can someone bring me a scotch! 151 00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,467 I'm Ken fucking Fitzpatrick! 152 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,425 This is a nail bar, Asshole. 153 00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:54,212 I'll let you get back to your boyfriend. 154 00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,306 Get the car. Legs! 155 00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:02,612 Where are we going? 156 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:03,961 As the old saying goes: 157 00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:05,615 If someone tries to fuck up your dream lounge 158 00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:07,443 then you fuck back harder. 159 00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:08,966 Funny, I don't know that one. 160 00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:11,186 Amateur. Shotgun! 161 00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:14,406 But I always get shotgun. 162 00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:25,243 City Hall - the hallowed tower of opportunity! 163 00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:27,245 Teach these fuckers to mess with Fitz. 164 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,511 - Larry, go shit in this bag. - Ew! 165 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,729 That's your plan? 166 00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:33,817 That's only the first part. 167 00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,471 Then, we light it on fire. 168 00:08:35,471 --> 00:08:37,125 That's unsanitary. 169 00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:39,257 Finesse, morons. 170 00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:41,477 This is politics. You need an 'in.' 171 00:08:41,477 --> 00:08:43,523 Otherwise it's red tape this, procedure that... 172 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,698 Fuck procedure. 173 00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,134 Richard you owe thirty-six-hundred dollars 174 00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,570 in parking fines. 175 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,398 You walk through those doors, you could be arrested. 176 00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:50,921 Something a certain someone should have known 177 00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,140 if she were on top of things... 178 00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:53,315 Fine. You're the conscience. 179 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,925 Go in there and say sorry and shit. 180 00:08:56,927 --> 00:09:00,061 Dot Foxley! 181 00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:03,499 Melody Gray! 182 00:09:03,499 --> 00:09:04,848 I haven't seen you 183 00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:06,328 since you slept your way through student council. 184 00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:08,548 I'd heard you lost the back forty. 185 00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:11,376 The botox looks great, by the way. 186 00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:12,682 You can barely see the paralysis. 187 00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,728 Who is this bad boy? 188 00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,599 Call me Fitz. 189 00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,209 Hubby? 190 00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:19,950 Oops - no ring. 191 00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:21,604 I'm concentrating on my career. 192 00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:23,258 She stole my job as bar manager! 193 00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:24,738 Bar manager? 194 00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:26,783 Oh, Hon, night jobs are tough at our age. 195 00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,611 With three kids, stay at home hunk 196 00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,221 and a successful journalism career 197 00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:32,441 it's all deadlines and mommy duty for me. 198 00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:33,703 I could use a mommy. 199 00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:35,444 Yeah, so could my eight year-old 200 00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:37,011 but I'm here for yet another Fundraiser... 201 00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:38,360 My God, I am so sick and tired 202 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,927 of people raising awareness about things. 203 00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:41,406 If it's not some new disease 204 00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:43,191 then it's an endangered animal. 205 00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:44,932 What the heck is a titmouse, anyway? 206 00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:50,111 Uh, you know... 207 00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:52,853 Richard is most amusing at parties. 208 00:09:52,853 --> 00:09:54,463 You have no idea. 209 00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:56,204 Really? 210 00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:58,989 Well, maybe you could be my plus one. 211 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:01,122 Looks like I found my "in." 212 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:08,477 That worked out well, didn't it, Dot? 213 00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:09,739 Blow me. 214 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:17,878 Open bar? 215 00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,488 This is how they spend my tax dollars? 216 00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:21,925 - If you paid taxes. - Keep it down! 217 00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:23,318 First rule of politics. 218 00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:24,406 You want something done, 219 00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:25,712 you gotta know who to drink with. 220 00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:27,148 And marry a man who lets Mommy swing. 221 00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:30,760 Listen, Gray. 222 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:31,979 I am not going to let you fuck 223 00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:34,024 or fuck over my business partner. 224 00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,330 A little coincidental 225 00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,679 that you just happen to run into the one man 226 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,028 who'd make for great copy 227 00:10:38,028 --> 00:10:39,421 if he goes ape shit at this fundraiser. 228 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:40,422 I know! 229 00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:42,598 "Local low life vs. City Hall" - 230 00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:45,383 super catchy, right? 231 00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:47,081 Like the herpes you gave the chess club. 232 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,653 Richard, any one of these power hungry titans 233 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,045 could be the villain 234 00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:56,481 threatening to ruin your dream - 235 00:10:56,481 --> 00:10:58,527 ...and shoe-in for City Councilor - 236 00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,790 Chester Vince! 237 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:04,664 [applause] 238 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:09,233 Or it could be exactly the douchebag we expected. 239 00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:16,676 [birds chirping] 240 00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,768 Heartbreaking cry for help, isn't it? 241 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,073 Would you believe 242 00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:24,945 there are only tweleve of the little guys left? 243 00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:26,816 Rest assure, little Titmouse, 244 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,426 the good people of Coverton 245 00:11:28,426 --> 00:11:29,863 will not let the vice 246 00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:32,648 and filth of this town destroy you! 247 00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:34,955 [cheering] 248 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,566 [bird sings] 249 00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:40,351 [applause] 250 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:43,398 Care to comment? 251 00:11:43,398 --> 00:11:44,747 No! 252 00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,183 Perhaps you could give us a moment. 253 00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:47,619 Simple fucking math. 254 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:48,838 He shuts down my bar. 255 00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,448 I tear his tiny nuts off. 256 00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:51,841 Anyone with a magnifying glass 257 00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:53,713 feel free to tag along. 258 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,149 Richard, wait! 259 00:11:57,586 --> 00:11:59,762 Pummelling Chester won't get you back the Summerwind! 260 00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,198 Let's test that theory. 261 00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:02,722 The last thing we need 262 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,114 is to give ammo to Melody Gray. 263 00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:06,116 She faked incest to get a poem in our yearbook. 264 00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,944 My my, look whose petty high school rivalry 265 00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,554 is tarnishing Richard's reputation? 266 00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:11,252 How are you gonna help, you oversized Chia Pet? 267 00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:12,601 Stand around, talk about feelings? 268 00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:15,169 I'm a sensitive man with gentle solutions. 269 00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:16,170 Who knows nothing about politics. 270 00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:17,388 I should be number two! 271 00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:20,740 [loud cross-talk] 272 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,002 Richard, would you please 273 00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,525 let your conscience lead for once, and-- 274 00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:24,918 New plan. 275 00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,789 You want a shot at Dot's gYes! 276 00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:29,792 Go find out whatever you can from that milquetoast Chester. 277 00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,663 And try to blend, for Christ's sake. 278 00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:33,143 What the fuck? 279 00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:34,362 You want to keep your job? 280 00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:36,059 You do whatever it takes to get your buddy 281 00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,931 to turn that story in my favour. 282 00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:39,193 'Course I love the titmouse. 283 00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:40,150 That's why I built my bar there! 284 00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:41,543 Done! 285 00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:43,110 And I'll do what I do best. 286 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:44,764 Get us arrested? 287 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,504 Work my own connections. 288 00:12:46,504 --> 00:12:48,332 From the inside. 289 00:12:52,032 --> 00:12:54,034 ♪ Run from the tiger 290 00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:56,297 You've got to run really fast 291 00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:58,212 ♪ Run from the tiger 292 00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,127 ♪ Or he's gonna bite your... 293 00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:03,086 Whoa! hey, guys! 294 00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,175 Wow, does this ever look like a bomb 295 00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:07,134 for something that's clearly not a bomb. 296 00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:09,745 - It's a... clock radio. - Ignore him, cousin. 297 00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:10,833 Attached to road flares... and a detonator. 298 00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,139 To wake me up. 299 00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:16,491 It's like they can't see me! 300 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:21,975 Okay. I see what's going on. 301 00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,628 I think it is working, Cousin! 302 00:13:23,628 --> 00:13:25,282 Very soon, the Fitzpatrick lover 303 00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,807 will see common sense and he'll be gone. 304 00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,814 Operation Black Out... 305 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,381 I'm invisible! Yeah! 306 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,215 Oh no! Leaving so soon? 307 00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,391 Are they out of donut holes? 308 00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,089 Oh, Melody. 309 00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:50,525 I could stand here all day 310 00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:51,874 and reminisce about your original nose 311 00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,136 but why don't we talk 312 00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:55,051 about how your little news story 313 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:57,184 is going to get Richard Fitzpatrick his bar back. 314 00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,230 Excuse me, but I'm an ethical journalist. 315 00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:02,711 I only report the news I manufacture. 316 00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:05,757 Here's news: 317 00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,847 you do not want to go to war with me. 318 00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:12,764 Honey, your size two panties don't fool me. 319 00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:15,811 Look at your life. 320 00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:17,900 Now look at mine. 321 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,510 I have a plan. 322 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:22,165 Bar manager at a sleazy lounge. That is some plan. 323 00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:25,777 Oh Foxley, that's always been your problem. 324 00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:27,170 You keep aiming low 325 00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:29,216 and you'll never hit the bulls-eye. 326 00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:42,794 So you actually went and married that ass cracker? 327 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:45,928 You mean my decent responsible husband 328 00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:47,669 with a promising future? 329 00:14:47,669 --> 00:14:49,932 Then a belated toast to the bride. 330 00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,586 Double scotch for the lady. 331 00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:52,848 Nothing for me. 332 00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:58,593 Why don't you just do or say 333 00:14:58,593 --> 00:14:59,899 whatever horrible thing it is you're inevitably 334 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,465 about to say or do to me. 335 00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:03,424 Get it over with and go. Please. 336 00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:05,121 Sure. As soon as you tell 337 00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:06,775 that yeast infection you call a husband 338 00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:08,559 to stay the fuck out of my way. 339 00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:09,952 Closing my bar 340 00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:11,911 isn't going to score points with any voters. 341 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,260 Chester's run for office 342 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,262 has nothing to do with your sleazy lounge. 343 00:15:15,262 --> 00:15:17,742 Yet he sends a bulldozer in lieu of flowers. 344 00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,092 That's a coincidence. 345 00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:21,964 Chester promised that you were out of our lives. 346 00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,271 It was in the vows. 347 00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:25,707 I know it's hard for you to believe, 348 00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:27,622 but I am over you. 349 00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:30,712 Then walk away. 350 00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:33,845 You walk away. 351 00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:36,022 If that's what you want, I will. 352 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:38,198 But it's not gonna help you get over me. 353 00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:42,158 I can, however, help you get under me... 354 00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:49,035 Thank you so much... 355 00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,819 Great to see you. 356 00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:51,646 All the best. 357 00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:53,691 [coughing] 358 00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:56,172 We should have known you were behind this titmouse treachery. 359 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:57,913 Uh... No smoking. 360 00:15:57,913 --> 00:15:59,567 Oh, sorry. 361 00:15:59,567 --> 00:16:01,743 If you're here about that degenerate's bar, 362 00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:03,440 I don't know anything about it. 363 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,182 [coughing] What has Richard ever done to you? 364 00:16:06,182 --> 00:16:08,315 Aside from repossessing your car, 365 00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:10,970 bankrupting you 366 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,189 having relations with Ali on your wedding day. 367 00:16:13,189 --> 00:16:15,061 Richard Fitzpatrick is a scourge. 368 00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:17,933 [choking coughs] An alcoholic used car salesman, nothing more. 369 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,891 A man so loathsome and foul, 370 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:22,068 even his own parents can't stand him. 371 00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:25,897 All true, but he has great potential 372 00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:28,030 and you can't stand in our way. 373 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:31,120 Says who? 374 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,861 Says Larry. 375 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:38,127 Would you excuse me? 376 00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:39,085 "Muh muh scuse me?" 377 00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:43,698 [coughing] 378 00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:50,183 Oh God! What have I done? 379 00:16:57,146 --> 00:17:10,768 [♪] 380 00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:13,597 Genie's beard! 381 00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:15,643 The hummus is... 382 00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:17,384 Yes, this is very good hummus! 383 00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:19,560 The secret ingredient is the garlic. 384 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,040 Delicious, actually. 385 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:29,222 Looks like I have a date with the bulldozer! 386 00:17:29,222 --> 00:17:30,919 I'm invincible! 387 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,532 I have seen the heart of darkness! 388 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,363 Breathe, dead mouse! Breathe! 389 00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:44,454 This is what I get for trying to be something that I'm not! 390 00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:49,111 I'm not management material. 391 00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:50,286 I'm not a smoker. 392 00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:52,810 I'm just... Larry! 393 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,771 Oh, Titmouse - 394 00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:58,947 if you live, as God is my witness, 395 00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:02,124 I promise I will be a good and true conscience, 396 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,213 without ego, without... 397 00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:08,348 You're alive! 398 00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:10,045 It's a miracle! 399 00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:12,917 You've saved me from my own personal Armageddon 400 00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:14,745 and you deserve to be free! 401 00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:16,138 You must be free! 402 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:19,272 Fly, you winged, beautiful - 403 00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:22,536 Flightless bird. 404 00:18:26,801 --> 00:18:27,889 [honks horn] 405 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,586 Ahh! 406 00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:34,156 We could do this all night, toots... 407 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:36,245 Or you call your boy off my bar, 408 00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:38,160 then I show you around the new place. 409 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,596 Some decent booze. 410 00:18:39,596 --> 00:18:41,207 You can grill up a coupla steaks. 411 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:43,252 You're amazing, Fitz. 412 00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,515 Really one of a kind. 413 00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:47,169 That sounds like a yes to me. 414 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:48,866 You may be able to sell lemons 415 00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:51,130 to cougars and geriatrics 416 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,306 but you don't know how these people operate. 417 00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:55,569 Trust me - you're out of your league. 418 00:18:57,962 --> 00:18:59,399 Like hell I am. 419 00:19:01,618 --> 00:19:02,924 [snaps fingers] 420 00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:04,752 Ladies room. Five minutes. 421 00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:06,014 Oh, Fitzy, you're cute and all, 422 00:19:06,014 --> 00:19:07,537 but I'm super hot and ambitious. 423 00:19:07,537 --> 00:19:08,669 And this is City Hall. 424 00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:11,541 I don't do civilians. 425 00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:27,731 Richard, you look upset, are you okay? 426 00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:29,080 Great! Awesome! 427 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,256 Let's just get in the car and drive. 428 00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,561 You have my keys, dick-jam. 429 00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:33,433 Oh, nice. 430 00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:35,130 You were just going to ditch me in there? 431 00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:38,220 The endangered titmouse is protected by federal law, 432 00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,874 and I killed it! 433 00:19:39,874 --> 00:19:41,180 You killed the fucking bird? 434 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,616 What kind of a conscience are you? 435 00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:44,661 Now is not the time for more Larry bashing. 436 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:47,490 Nobody's more critical of me than me. 437 00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:48,839 Let's just get in the car and drive 438 00:19:48,839 --> 00:19:50,624 before Chester calls the authorities. 439 00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:53,192 And let that eunuch get in the way of Fitz's dream? 440 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,889 Ooo, my name is Dot 441 00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:56,151 and I have a manager's title 442 00:19:56,151 --> 00:19:57,761 and a point! 443 00:19:57,761 --> 00:20:03,332 Yes, I do have a point. 444 00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:06,074 The Fitz I know is a low-life scumbag 445 00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:08,729 who lives his life exactly the way he wants. 446 00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,426 Who cares if he's not married, 447 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,254 has no real career and a lot of excess skin 448 00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:14,300 from losing a hundred and thirty pounds! 449 00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:15,779 What the fuck? 450 00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:18,608 There may be only twelve speckled titmice left - 451 00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,393 Eleven. 452 00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:23,744 But how many Richard Fitzpatrick's are there? 453 00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:25,833 One. 454 00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:27,487 I'm an original. 455 00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,228 Last of a dying breed. 456 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,099 Stop encouraging him. 457 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:36,887 Yeah, I'm one of a kind... 458 00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:39,673 Ring a ding ding, baby. 459 00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:42,719 Ring a ding ding. 460 00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:44,330 [beep] 461 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:46,506 Hey baby, if you really think I don't have 462 00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:48,290 what it takes to play in the big leagues, 463 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:51,162 then you won't need to come by the Summerwind at 3 pm. 464 00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:52,555 And you won't bother bringing 465 00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:54,253 that wad of bread dough you married. 466 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,864 I'd hate for you to find out he broke your vows. 467 00:20:56,864 --> 00:20:58,605 And just so you know, 468 00:20:58,605 --> 00:21:00,911 I played with myself while I left this message. 469 00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:02,696 And I'm still naked. 470 00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:04,437 [beep] 471 00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:13,576 Get your hands off me. 472 00:21:13,576 --> 00:21:15,099 Okay, but what about my idea 473 00:21:15,099 --> 00:21:16,318 to acknowledge the titmouse 474 00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:18,146 who sacrificed his life for this moment? 475 00:21:18,146 --> 00:21:19,930 Yeah, whatever. 476 00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:22,063 Cameras here? 477 00:21:22,063 --> 00:21:24,195 I'll show her a plan. 478 00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:25,719 And where the fuck is Josh? 479 00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:38,166 Alibear, you said we were going for fro-yo! 480 00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:39,950 Chester, did you have anything to do 481 00:21:39,950 --> 00:21:42,213 with Fitz's bar closing? 482 00:21:42,213 --> 00:21:44,346 What? No. 483 00:21:44,346 --> 00:21:46,435 That's... ridiculous. 484 00:21:46,435 --> 00:21:50,091 Good, then you shouldn't have any trouble hearing him out. 485 00:21:50,091 --> 00:21:52,441 You had your day on stage. 486 00:21:52,441 --> 00:21:54,965 It's only fair that he should have his. 487 00:21:54,965 --> 00:21:56,663 They killed my bird! 488 00:21:56,663 --> 00:21:58,491 Okay. 489 00:22:02,233 --> 00:22:04,366 Hey, thanks for making it. 490 00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:06,194 You seem to have found your clothes. 491 00:22:06,194 --> 00:22:08,022 Easy to lose, baby. 492 00:22:08,022 --> 00:22:10,372 Don't make me resent you any more than I already do. 493 00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:11,765 Resent me? 494 00:22:11,765 --> 00:22:13,767 Why would you resent me? 495 00:22:23,733 --> 00:22:26,562 You should really lay off the bar snacks, Toots. 496 00:22:26,562 --> 00:22:28,564 Richard, let's do this! 497 00:22:30,697 --> 00:22:32,220 Speech. Colour coded. 498 00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:33,743 Inspirational doodles in the margins. 499 00:22:33,743 --> 00:22:35,223 Richard! 500 00:22:47,148 --> 00:22:51,892 Uh, you probably heard of me. 501 00:22:51,892 --> 00:22:53,415 I'm Fitz. 502 00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:55,504 Richard Fitzpatrick. 503 00:22:55,504 --> 00:22:59,203 Hottest pre-owned car salesman this side of Detroit. 504 00:22:59,203 --> 00:23:01,945 I'm also a pistol in the sack, 505 00:23:01,945 --> 00:23:04,731 and no, I won't remember your name in the morning. 506 00:23:04,731 --> 00:23:06,254 That's not what I wrote. 507 00:23:06,254 --> 00:23:08,561 But you know what I will remember? 508 00:23:08,561 --> 00:23:10,432 Your favourite brand of gin. 509 00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:12,303 How you like your steak. 510 00:23:12,303 --> 00:23:13,957 And I'll never sit your mistress 511 00:23:13,957 --> 00:23:15,263 and your wife at the same table. 512 00:23:15,263 --> 00:23:17,091 You wanna know why? 513 00:23:17,091 --> 00:23:19,180 Because I'm the last of a breed. 514 00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:21,878 As a friend once said - 515 00:23:21,878 --> 00:23:23,445 One of a kind. 516 00:23:23,445 --> 00:23:26,753 Bla bla blah... 517 00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:32,149 Fuck the titmouse. 518 00:23:32,149 --> 00:23:33,673 Me and my buddies 519 00:23:33,673 --> 00:23:36,458 are the species that need to be protected. 520 00:23:36,458 --> 00:23:38,939 We need a natural habitat, 521 00:23:38,939 --> 00:23:40,810 a place to call our own, 522 00:23:40,810 --> 00:23:42,725 a place where we're safe. 523 00:23:42,725 --> 00:23:44,597 A place off your streets 524 00:23:44,597 --> 00:23:46,294 where we can listen to Frank 525 00:23:46,294 --> 00:23:48,514 and get our drink on. 526 00:23:48,514 --> 00:23:51,908 But Chester Vince doesn't think we deserve that. 527 00:23:51,908 --> 00:23:55,172 He wants to shut me down. 528 00:23:55,172 --> 00:24:01,483 Invisibility... the ultimate weapon! 529 00:24:01,483 --> 00:24:03,050 You want leadership? 530 00:24:03,050 --> 00:24:06,357 The line starts behind me. 531 00:24:06,357 --> 00:24:08,708 You want sex appeal? Boom. 532 00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:10,492 You want protection from the enemy? 533 00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:14,931 I'm your man, not that pussy Chester Vince. 534 00:24:14,931 --> 00:24:16,106 This is good... He wants progress? 535 00:24:16,106 --> 00:24:18,021 I want to live. 536 00:24:18,021 --> 00:24:20,154 And have a good time doing it. 537 00:24:20,154 --> 00:24:23,113 Fuck parking tickets and by-laws. 538 00:24:23,113 --> 00:24:25,333 Let's make this city fun again. 539 00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:27,030 [cheering] 540 00:24:27,030 --> 00:24:30,338 Richard Fitzpatrick isn't just a used car salesman. 541 00:24:30,338 --> 00:24:31,774 And a bar owner. 542 00:24:31,774 --> 00:24:33,994 I'm a fucking leader. 543 00:24:33,994 --> 00:24:36,387 And that's why I'm running for city council! 544 00:24:36,387 --> 00:24:40,087 [cheering] 545 00:24:40,087 --> 00:24:43,046 That's right. This is my city. 546 00:24:43,046 --> 00:24:45,614 And this is my party, baby. 547 00:24:45,614 --> 00:24:50,097 Because with Fitz on council, everyday is open bar! 548 00:24:50,097 --> 00:24:56,799 Fitz! Fitz! Fitz! 549 00:24:56,799 --> 00:24:59,193 Nothing can stop us now, Buddy! 550 00:24:59,193 --> 00:25:01,674 Oh, no you don't, Richard Fitzpatrick. 551 00:25:01,674 --> 00:25:04,677 That is my seat in Council. Mine! 552 00:25:04,677 --> 00:25:08,942 Chester no - Calm down - 553 00:25:08,942 --> 00:25:10,596 Chester! Come back! 554 00:25:13,599 --> 00:25:16,166 [screaming] 555 00:25:16,166 --> 00:25:18,255 - You can see me? - All of you! 556 00:25:18,255 --> 00:25:19,474 Oh, for fu--! 557 00:25:19,474 --> 00:25:22,564 [engine starts] 558 00:25:22,564 --> 00:25:24,610 Stop this thing! Stop doing that! 559 00:25:24,610 --> 00:25:27,090 Can't stop it! Dynamite stuck in the - 560 00:25:27,090 --> 00:25:36,273 [screaming] 561 00:25:36,273 --> 00:25:38,145 Oh God! I'm sorry, Vincent! 562 00:25:38,145 --> 00:25:39,842 Chester! 563 00:25:39,842 --> 00:25:42,584 [screaming] 564 00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:44,325 I'm so sorry Vincent! 565 00:25:44,325 --> 00:25:46,283 I'm so sorry! 566 00:25:46,283 --> 00:25:49,199 What the fuck, Josh! Not my bar! 567 00:25:49,199 --> 00:25:50,810 [screaming] 568 00:25:50,810 --> 00:25:55,379 Fuck! 569 00:25:55,379 --> 00:25:56,946 Reporting live from the Summerwind Lounge, 570 00:25:56,946 --> 00:25:59,296 where local businessman Richard Fitzpatrick 571 00:25:59,296 --> 00:26:01,211 has once again driven an honest man 572 00:26:01,211 --> 00:26:02,473 to the depths of depravity. 573 00:26:04,258 --> 00:26:06,608 City Council? We'll see... 574 00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:09,263 This is Melody Gray! 575 00:26:09,263 --> 00:26:11,134 This is most fortunate. 576 00:26:11,134 --> 00:26:13,223 Fitzpatrick scum gets what he deserves. 577 00:26:13,223 --> 00:26:14,703 And now that he is running for office, 578 00:26:14,703 --> 00:26:19,099 we will not see his face around here ever, ever again. 579 00:26:19,099 --> 00:26:20,622 Booyah! 580 00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:29,413 Richard, like the death of the titmouse, 581 00:26:29,413 --> 00:26:31,677 the destruction of your life-long dream 582 00:26:31,677 --> 00:26:34,593 is merely a small setback on our path to greater glory. 583 00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:36,116 Shut the fuck up, Larry. 584 00:26:38,379 --> 00:26:41,208 Campaign office. Back garage. Now. 585 00:26:41,208 --> 00:26:43,340 I'm going because I have to pee. 586 00:26:43,340 --> 00:26:45,299 Not because you're the boss of me. 587 00:26:48,998 --> 00:26:50,434 You going to help me win this thing? 588 00:26:50,434 --> 00:26:52,219 Oh, Fitz. 589 00:26:52,219 --> 00:26:54,656 Everyone knows it's the woman behind the man 590 00:26:54,656 --> 00:26:57,311 who holds the cards. 591 00:26:57,311 --> 00:27:00,096 You're going to win it for me, 592 00:27:00,096 --> 00:27:02,969 it's my new long term plan. 593 00:27:02,969 --> 00:27:05,362 Whatever gets you wet. 594 00:27:05,362 --> 00:27:07,190 Not a chance in hell, Cowboy. 595 00:27:25,426 --> 00:27:27,515 [clears throat] 596 00:27:27,515 --> 00:27:31,040 2500 under book and a test ride? 597 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,608 You got my vote, Councillor. 598 00:27:38,831 --> 00:27:40,963 And, he's back. 599 00:27:48,275 --> 00:27:51,147 How about I show you my election platform? 600 00:27:51,147 --> 00:27:52,496 [giggles] Okay. 601 00:27:52,496 --> 00:27:53,933 [zipper] 602 00:27:53,933 --> 00:27:55,195 There it is. 603 00:27:55,195 --> 00:27:56,979 What do you think of that? Yeah? 604 00:27:56,979 --> 00:27:59,025 [giggles] 605 00:27:59,025 --> 00:28:00,983 Yeah. Oh yeah. 606 00:28:00,983 --> 00:28:02,550 Vote Fitz, baby. 607 00:28:02,550 --> 00:28:04,683 Fitz for City Council! 608 00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:05,684 Oooh! Yeah!